I took my passion, expertise, and research . . . and wrote about it!
“Taking the high road” doesn’t (always) mean walking away, being positive, or staying silent. It means using good timing, delivery, and discernment to voice your outrage and concerns. Don't Tell Me to Calm Down will help you:
- deal with people you can't stand
- use your voice to influence change
- be present for another person's pain
- respond to verbal abuse without getting trampled
- walk in the world with acceptance for yourself
This book is packed with tools, stories, research, and humor, and offers a compelling explanation of #OppressivePositivity and the price we pay for enforcing it.
Watch Erin's interview on KOIN News
Watch Erin's interview on "Good Day Oregon."
"From cover to cover, author Erin Donley gifts her readers with real scenarios, anecdotes, and exercises based in personal experience! This book not only clearly delivers the notion that we can take care of ourselves, but offers actual sustainable "how to" steps! My favorite thread through this work of art is Erin shares the stage with other brilliant writers, poets, and teachers. Want to feel your feelings? Notice your thoughts? Check your communication? Read this book, its everything!" ~ Della Rae, Director of Oregon Women's Health Network
"This compact, yet jam-packed book offers a fresh perspective on navigating thorny emotions in a world obsessed with happiness and positivity. I’m a big believer in looking on the bright side, but not if it means denying reality. Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes people are jerks. How do you honor your emotional response, give yourself the time and space you need to handle those feelings, and speak up in a way that is powerful and understandable? This book has the answer." ~ Rachel Beohm, Writer/Speaker/Coach
"We live in such a conflicted world of affirmative, feel-good messages everywhere, and yet, as Erin points out, we're lonelier than ever. It's a must-read if you've spent your life trying to downplay, cover up, or censor yourself just to make others happy or keep the peace." ~ Lara Zuehlke, ZulaFit
"Ms. Donley’s book gave me plenty to think about and she speaks eloquently on behalf of those many of us tend to disregard: as people who are different from us in ways we’re uncomfortable with. Maybe we should consider the other side a little more before we give a pat response? All of her advise pushes towards being more human and dealing more honestly with the benefits and the pitfalls of that humanity." ~ Rick Killian, Killian Creative
"This book is a wonderful read, and I highly recommend it for anyone who has to communicate with others. I can see how it would be especially useful for people with challenging family relationships or a hostile work environment, but even for someone who doesn't face those particular challenges, I learned a lot from it." ~ Caelan Huntress, Stellar Platforms
"I’m from the mid-west and we are fed positivity morning noon and night. It took me years of personal development to get over the fear that if I don’t look at the bright side of EVERYTHING, my world will fall apart. As a recovering Pollyanna your book really resonates." ~ Jennifer Ruwart
"Don't Tell Me to Calm Down" opens your eyes in a world of eyes wide shut giving you a fresh and brilliantly clever approach to dealing with people, situations and issues we face almost 24/7 that will help you keep the power and peace within yourself front and center." David Douglas Prouty
"As a guidance counselor, and someone that communicates with teens on a daily basis, I picked up a few tricks that are really practical in my day job. I loved the examples Erin gave throughout this book - they resonated with me and helped bring clarity. I've already shared this book with a few of my teacher friends!" ~ Loren Evilsizor
This is a great read that emphasizes when to stand your ground and when to let things go. Difficult people, difficult conversations, less than happy emotional situations? Erin addresses those areas and offers great insight and tips on how to experience the moments without suppressing feelings or letting people shut you down." ~ Keri Caffreys
"This book is so liberating! All the cliches I've been fed for years go up in smoke in the face of Erin's fire. Thank you for shining a light into this hidden corner of our subverted culture. This is a book about true kindness and authentic compassion, not the kind we paste a smile on. It's a must-read for anyone who wonders why they somehow never quite make the mark." ~ Jule Ward
"It is a very powerful book. You have given a fresh perspective to how we think and deal with our own un-comfortable self, how we operate in an autopilot mode and how we need to step back and give ourselves time to evaluate and rethink." ~ Anuja Singha
"This is no feel-good self-help book. In her characteristic no-nonsense style, Erin shares real-life examples of tackling the very real need for compassionate—and honest—communication around the personal, social, and systemic issues of our day." ~ Uma Kleppinger, Writer/Author